the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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