By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
