Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
