I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
