he puts the penis in happiness.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
