I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
