dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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