So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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