Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
