if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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