I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize