You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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