Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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