your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
