Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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