Don't make out with my wife yet
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
