i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize