I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
