First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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