why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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