:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
