I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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