Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
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