i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
