she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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