He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
