Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There r osticjed everywhere
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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