yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
