Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
