The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
