some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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