possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
