Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
