oh god the rape fog is back!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
