you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
