youre lurking in front of me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
