i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
