Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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