I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
