He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
