I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
