come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize