i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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