I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
