I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
