Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
