Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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