He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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