3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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