Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
