I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
