I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize