Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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