Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
