I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
