Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
