you guys were way drunker than both of me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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