We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
