i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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