worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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