My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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