I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
