I feel like I'm in dance class right now
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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