my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
