I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
