There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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